The Illusion of Success: Why It’s Never What It Seems

What if everything you think you know about success is wrong? What if success isn’t the shiny, perfect destination we’ve been taught to chase, but something far more complicated—and far less glamorous?

This isn’t another “smart” take offering simple answers to complicated questions. It’s not an opinion on whatever’s trending or hyped up right now—AI, politics, or the next big thing. No, this is about real life. It’s about how we’re wired as humans, the choices we make, and the messy, unglamorous truths we often ignore.

Why Success Stories Don’t Help Much

I can barely remember a single success story that someone could actually replicate or learn from. Sure, success stories can inspire you, and inspiration is important. But let’s face it—there are already enough success stories out there. Everyone talks about their wins, their breakthroughs, their “overnight” successes (which, by the way, are never overnight). But have you ever noticed a truly successful person give that “aha” answer or advice that covers everything—aside from those who sell courses on how to be “successful”? :)

The problem isn’t just that success stories often skip the messy parts. It’s popular to say that success doesn’t happen without failure, but what if success, pain, and failure are always together? It’s like saying you have to train hard and accept pain when preparing for a marathon, but when you run the marathon—or when you win—there’s no pain. I believe the pain is actually harder and bigger during success, but the “success” itself covers that pain and failures. That’s the difference.

Success stories don’t show the sleepless nights, the bad decisions, or the moments when everything fell apart. And because of that, they don’t teach you much.

Why Failure and Pain Are the Real Teachers

Failure and pain, on the other hand, are where the real lessons are. You can learn so much from screwups and mistakes, and you gain resilience from pain. They prepare you for the reality of success, which is more of a way of thinking than a permanent or temporary state. Success is a complicated system with tons of nuances, and pain and failure are always part of the journey.

Here’s the thing: failure doesn’t disappear when success arrives. They live together. The difference lies in what you choose to focus on—or, in other words, how you define success and failure. If you only chase isolated success, you’ll miss the hard truths. It’s nuanced, personal, and complicated, so don’t try to find simple answers to these questions. You have to choose your own path.

That’s why I believe sharing and discussing failures brings far more value than generic advice like “chase your dreams,” “top 5 things successful people do,” or other overhyped nonsense. What went wrong? Why did it go wrong? What could have been done differently? How do you resist pain? How do you heal wounds? Only honest answers to these questions can lead to real growth.

Just today, I was in a conversation where a friend said that a normal human being can’t act a certain way because “normal people have doubts and would never act so confidently.” I disagree. As a business owner, I’ve always acted confidently, even when I had deep doubts that things might fail. You can’t win a marathon by thinking you might break your leg—and if that’s your fear, you shouldn’t run at all. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it failed, but in those moments, I didn’t have another option—or wasn’t smart enough to find one. In those cases, it’s better to act than to cry your heart out.

I personally know many people who appear successful and speak confidently about their achievements, but deep down, they struggle with self-doubt, personal challenges, or hidden complexities and fears.

My Failures (And Why I’m Sharing Them)

I’ve been an entrepreneur for over 20 years. I’ve founded multiple companies, had successful exits, and yes, many not-so-successful ones too. I’ve had my share of wins, but I’ve also had plenty of failures—some small, some huge, some downright embarrassing.

So, what does it all mean? Is success something that others measure, or is it something you have to feel? Maybe it’s the feeling of being confident and moving forward no matter what happens along the way, with all its ups and downs. It’s a complicated question, but in my opinion, this complexity is what makes “success” so, let’s say, “desired.”

That’s why I’ve decided to share failures. Why? Because I think they’re more valuable than any success story I could tell. They’re real, they’re raw, and they’re full of lessons.

I’ll be sharing stories of my own failures—times when I messed up, when things didn’t go as planned, and when I had to pick up the pieces. Times when I felt like it was the end, only to realize it was just a new beginning. My hope is that these stories will help you see failure differently: not as something to fear, but as something to learn from.

Final Thought

At the end of the day, success and failure aren’t opposites—they coexist. The real lessons, real growth, and real resilience come from pain, mistakes, and the ability to keep going despite it all.

Success isn’t a destination—it’s a journey, and failure is its constant companion. The truth is, success stories often hide the pain, doubt, and messy realities that come with them. But failure? Failure doesn’t lie. It teaches, humbles, and prepares you for what’s next.

So instead of chasing the illusion of success, start embracing failure. Learn from it, grow from it, and share it. Because in the end, it’s not about how many times you win—it’s about how many times you get back up.

Even if you measure and calculate everything possible (and impossible), there will always be countless factors beyond your control—far beyond anyone’s control. And it’s not just about business; it’s about personal life, natural disasters, or disease. Those factors come into play far too often—and usually at the worst possible time.